Happy Birthday to my PDoc



Him



Us

My lover and best friend of over 11 years PDoc added a year to his life on the 28th of April.

Happy birthday my love.

God bless you for me,the kids, the body of Christ, and of course all ya patients.

We all love you....you kind hearted, gentle, calm, diplomatic man

Question of the day....win a trip to the White House



As a body guard, what do you do with yourself when your boss and his wife are having a moment like such a one above? If you can do a better job than the guys above, then there is a ticket for you in my office...Lol!

Dear GEJ...do something please

Dear GEJ at the end of the day, your children and generation would be prouder of a father who (God forbid) died fighting for the good of mankind than one who folded his arms and did nothing.

 Please do something about this Boko Haram matter.

 If you don’t know what to do, ask God for direction. He answers.

 I would have said ask America but….I have my reservations about those people too

Meanwhile it’s so weird that there is a war in the north and the south is far from aware. Still partying and rocking concerts.

I hear from my parents that this was exactly how it was during the Biafra war….what a world!! Can be really painful for people in the North

 Like I keep crying out, innocent souls should leave the north for these people oh.

Southern governors- you people should try and develop your states with the financial allocations you receive so that Nigeria can balance out.

 Half of the southerners in the North would come home if something as simple as the roads in an Abia state for instance were motorable.

Then I keep seeing some people write that the bombing is more of political than religious then I ask why is it only churches that are getting bombed? Na question….enlighten me.

Long live my beloved country.

It is well.

Hurray!!!

Yay my blog…….. My very young, 2 month old blog has officially had over 3,000 hits.
Wow I want to thank my parents for having me, my husband for marrying me and my savior for saving me….lol
Honestly I am encouraged ….I was almost going crazy with so many thoughts I wished I could share with the world, I thought working in a radio station would help me express myself and share joy and encouragement with the world but no radio station that I approached took me in …for so many reasons including the strong belief that they couldn’t pay me despite my continuous screams that it was not about the money. They didn’t even make me an offer; they just didn’t feel they could pay…because I had worked in banking and telecoms…No faith…these radio people, no faith. Lol!

If they had even tried to make me an offer…

Well I discovered the beautiful world of blogging exactly 4 years ago….somehow I found Linda Ikeji’s blog and it kept me company along with Sound city throughout the sleepless nights of nursing my first child. 

She inspired me and still does….daily!

No! I don’t agree with everything she does and says but it doesn’t change the fact that Linda has saved me from drowning in boredom so many times and from her blog I could quickly get my daily news fix in a soft way….not hard core CNN style.

With time, I saw the merits of blogging and knew it would help me as a medium of expression instead of being overwhelmed with all the things I had to say. I was literarily going crazy with so much to say and nowhere to put it.

No! Facebook was not enough and BBM had limited character space.

Besides this matter started long before the emergence of BBM

Upon deciding I was going to become a blogging compere, I approached web designers to help me design a blog….see quotation of charges!!!

I was not ready to spend such amounts on a blog….I’m talking 6 digits.

However, I did not give up, would not give up.

There had to be a way.

 Enter Natural Nigerian …my dear long lost friend who God brought my way again and she guided me with just a BBM chat and voila I set this blog up myself and even got some kobo kobo adverts from google on it for the price of zero naira.

It’s a big deal for me when I find people are reading this blog and when people comment, I feel like I have won the lottery.

 Blogspot Statistics has even shown me that a significant percentage of persons who read it are outside the country. Finally a place to express myself and share my thoughts as the unique brand that is me!

Thanks for the kind words and general followership.

May all your dreams come true.  Keep reading and bring your friends too.

I compered @ Chidi Mokeme's wedding on Saturday.

Apologies for my silence these past few days, I have been busier than the chickens laying eggs at Obasanjo farms.

Meanwhile I confess I have been hiding something from you and that is what I am about to share.

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine called to say he was going to be the best man at Chidi Mokeme’s wedding and that he had spoken with Chidi about me….weeks later - voila I was sitting in front of Chidi and I got an invite to compere at his wedding.

It was such a hush hush affair so I couldn’t spill the beans….hope you forgive me?

It was a nice wedding. The bride is a very sweet person; an Ibo lady, an American based doctor and yes she got married with a low cut hair style. Loved her for it…standing out is good for the health.

AY was the comedian, told his Chris Okotie jokes and did the Indian film kiss thing.

Chairman was High Chief Edem Duke; the honorable Minister for culture and Tourism.

 Other features of the wedding include - God Bless Band, Jimi Jatt, the best of Nollywood , Turkish designed groomsmen attire, plenty of security, plenty of décor and three white limousines.

 Congrats to them. I wish them the best of marital bliss

As usual my photos are on the way but for now manage this one.

This was taken with a phone but trust me, better pictures are on the way

Wife Beaters REHAB now open

I was with some friends the other day and a guy was complaining bitterly on behalf of his friend who beat his wife. The story goes thus:

Our brother the wife beater doesn’t have a job...he is seeking employment. Whether he had one and lost it or he never had one from the beginning, I did not get that detail.

Our sister “the beaten” has a very good job and has been paying for everything apart from oxygen. They had a fight and she told him in so many words I do not care to repeat that he is a failure and a loser and the only proof that he is a man is the physical body part that God gave to all men. (Don’t you just love how decent I am?)

He then descended upon her and brother story teller was now saying his friend was pushed to the wall and that was why he had to beat his wife.

These are my thoughts and I shared them freely.

Brother wife beater should not have beaten his wife, he should have beaten himself....For either of two reasons...One for selecting a wife that would hurt his ego this bad out of all the girls out there OR two- for allowing things degenerate so much in his home that the person who is closest to him in this world and knows him so completely could sum him up like that.

She was not right to speak to her husband like that no matter how frustrated she was...surely there are better ways to channel your grievance in all relationships and by all means let’s find it.

However there is a malady under the sun that I see these days and I want to rant about it.

Our mothers were house wives, our fathers took advantage of our mothers and held the money over their heads and took advantage of their helplessness. The daughters watched and grew up resolving to work and make money. Women of today are self motivated and would rather turn black under the sun selling pepper and making some money (no matter how little) than stay at home and depend on a man for money. They just don’t have that level of trust for men anymore. (of course there are a few that don’t want to do anything but the irony of it all is that they keep getting “found” by men who want working girls...this is story for another day)

So because of the scenario I painted above, you have a significant percentage of women making more money than men today. Not necessarily a bad thing...but I take exception when the man takes advantage of the woman’s drive to succeed and does absolutely nothing or is not creative about this challenge.

It is not until we wait for you to take someone to a shrine and do xyz that we will say you are using the person for rituals. I dares ay some men are using their wives for rituals by using her purely as a stream of income and not a helper. There are lines please! And a lot of men are crossing those lines based on the feedback we are receiving from women.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe women should work. Beyond working for the money, it helps your mind, it helps your health and it endears your husband to you more because men are hunters - something has to be attractive for you to want to get it and they want a woman who can also engage them mentally.

Working does not necessarily mean getting a bank job or getting employed...a tomato seller’s job is to sell tomatoes. Chigo works as a Compere , Rita Dominic works as an actress, Linda Ikeji is a blogger. Babes, find something you like or you are good at and turn it to a source of revenue...that is work and it becomes your job. Especially if you are not married to or planning to marry an armed robber or a drug lord.

....So brother story teller kept on saying brother wife beater had been looking for a job and had not found one for years and he kept asking if brother wife beater should kill him self or turn himself into money.

My response was that brother wife beater should have since found something to sell...and before story teller could say...CAPITAL. ...I asked him if brother wife beater had tried selling pure water in rfont of his house (or delivering to his neighbours)or hair barbing or laundry service ...the list is endless of businesses you need little or no cash to start if you are serious. You don’t need capital to start a business, you need an idea. Ideas are free.

If a man is creative, and is determined/making the effort to be a responsible husband, a good woman would respect him no matter how small his beginning is. You can never sweep it under the carpet, it is a truth and a fact that women are built for security, we like to be comfortable and have the finer things in life. We may tell you that you have nothing and it does not matter but it’s only a matter of time, if you don’t grow from that your state of nothing, you are gonna have a disgruntled woman in your house. Even water changes its state so guy...you gotta grow. Don’t ask me why? Ask God ...didn’t you see that Eve entered an already furnished home with a garden, plenty elephant jeeps and camel SUVs and Chigo air conditioner trees every where? ...Check Genesis 2!!!!

My guy leave this ya job hunting something if it’s not working for you now, catch a vision, start a business, start small, grow the business, be disciplined.  Love your wife, give effort  to the marriage...as in don’t expect her to do all the work to make money, take care of the home, the kids, your ego, your “needs” and still try to put an appearance that all is well in the home all by herself while you just keep making demands, incurring bills and hanging with your boys and putting up a pretence outside and throwing a pity parties and raging tantrums when you come inside

Mr. Man rise up...there is a king in you, find him, polish him and make your wife proud. If not, the next time she insults you, beat yourself up instead of her. Nobody will call you a name that you have not given to yourself.

And oy! As for you young man who doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from or his next pay check is coming from but you keep professing love to one girl or the other and you say you want to marry. Clear from there. He that has no job should not marry...No romance without finance.

Stop looking for a girl you will use for rituals or turn her into your slave-to be coughing out money for you while you just loaf around with big dreams going no where fast because she made a mistake to love you.

I dey vex.

Twas a great day on Twitter thanks to ALIBABAGCFR

Since I signed in on twitter I have gone through several emotions, I will settle down one of these days to put my initial twitter experience into words but  we thank God I am settling in well now...Lol!

Since I joined, my best experience so far was when ALIBABAGCFR tweeted a full business lecture on Networking 101.

It was very helpful and refreshing I tell you.

Sir I pray, anticipate and look forward to more of such lectures on subjects like publicity strategies, negotiating skills, pricing and copyright law.

Twitter will give us our certificates after you have tweeted our exams to us and we pass.

Thank you so much sir

Long Live TBS- Twitter Business School....may your lecturers never go on strike.

Long Live ALIBABAGCFR our dear lecturer may you never need to go on strike J

They want to turn Chidi Mokeme's wine back to water O

HA!

In the words of brother Peter and brother Paul of  P-Square fame, Wahala Dey!

Turns out that media people have been writing all manner of stories with plenty of impetus and confidence that Chidi Mokeme is getting married to the younger sister to the minister of Aviation.
Alas eyes were raised and indeed shaved when the said minister appeared at Stephanie Okereke's wedding in far away Paris and not in the village in the eastern part of Nigeria where Chidi was supposed to be getting married to her sister.

How and why the matter degenerated to this level is a mystery to me and how the mix up occured is also a bigger mystery. 

I guess he coded it so much, world people went CIA on him but went about it probably in the Nigerian police way and came up with the wrong results.

It is well....the wedding don reach finish...it's holding this saturday...there will be audio and video recording to capture the face and voice of the person he actually says "I Do" to at the altar and what the good Lord will join together, no body will put asiri under.

If I was on radio, this would be a perfect time to play Wande Cole's song..."Na who born the maga" as a consolation song to Chidi and his bride. Eku preparation dears. Never mind them.

Victoria Beckham raises the bar on Luxury

Only a few weeks ago I wrote about the Range Rovers and how they have taken over Nigerian roads, if you missed it, you can catch up by checking my March archives for the topic “Range Rover”.

So it turns out that Vikki Beckham ..wife of David has taken her passion for designing to the next level by trying her hand on cars. She was approached by the Range Rover Company and now a new special edition Range Rover that she helped design called the "Evogue" will be produced in limited numbers… (200 only to be precise) which will be sold for twice the price (me thinks the pricing was doubled so Range Rover gets their standard money and she gets the other half after all it took her 2 years to design the car… a laborer is worthy of her wages on any level).

That’s a whole new level peeps.

Some statements were made in the press release which stood out for me are

1.      I wanted to design a car that I want to drive and David would want to drive

(Awww how romantic, she was still thinking of pleasing him even in this project.....If this is not submission then I don’t know what is. You can have it all ladies)

2.      When I first started working with the team I did a lot of research ...I looked at Yachts, Luxury Jets and Classic Cars ( Talk about researching in style * sigh* It’s unfortunate that after all said and done, the car still won’t be able to fly in Lagos traffic)

3.      In addition to the luxury vehicle, buyers receive other accessories such as a 4 piece leather Luggage set with her name printed on the zips and a hand sewn wallet for the owner’s manual signed by Beckham. (Be still my beating heart for these items will soon be available at Alaba.... though without the car yes! but a bit of something is better than nothing naaa. And I can assure you that these items will be more than 200 pieces....ibo kwenu!)

4.      At the launch in Beijing she said: “I am very excited to be working with Land Rover as I have an enormous amount of respect for the brand. I’ve always driven a Range Rover, for me they are the epitome of quality and luxury. (Kia! Kia people Oh...Where are you?...I have always driven a Kia...I was loyal even when the car was gathering water in Apapa floods and the car was made of rubber.....where are you people now?....we need to come out with our own Picanto line ...You & I...where are you people...please approach me...I await your approach biko)

5.      Mr. Mc Govern of Range Rover said “Cars and celebrities are nothing new but for us, this is not about celebrity endorsement. She owns and drives our products; we’re not giving it to her. Given her fashion background and the fact that the Beckham Family have owned a series of top of the range and bespoke Range Rovers and other Land Rovers-including a mini replica for their children- this made her well placed for the job” (Moral of the story, to get big tins, you need to run big tins ...I tell spinsters who want to marry rich men...aim high, set yourself up high...Dakore met her hubby at a wine tasting event in the UK, Kate met Prince William at a fashion event in their school....Goodluck  Jonathan...at least he joined a political party to begin with #Thinksabourrit)

6.      She said that when she was a young girl, her father owned a Rolls-Royce and she would enjoy taking her shoes off to sink her bare feet into the thick carpeting. Land Rover’s designers replicated this for her by using mohair, usually reserved for luxury clothing, to make the mats: ‘It’s the small details that make all the difference.’ (Honestly if I buy this car, ama use the foot mat to make me a dress and reserve the dress for my Aso rock events and such. What do you think? Please if you buy too keep your foot mat for me. I don’t mind giving you the one in my KIA so your feet don’t go without succour)

7.      The rose-gold highlights inside and outside the car take their inspiration from the color and shape of a favoured man’s large faced 400 Daytona Rolex Watch which she often wears on her slender wrist (Hmmmm.....and PDoc always wonders why I want to wear his watches.....See Class is in my blood, it’s in my urine, it’s in my catarrh....I’m too much what is it?  God has finished me with too much class QED!)

Finally the Evoque has won more than 100 international awards and was last week named ‘Women’s world car of the year by an international jury of women motoring writers. (some people have all sorts of jobs in this world and women too can find trouble ...how did they form this association sharp! Sharp! Now?...women’s world car of the year...Na wa...men see the signs ...let me interpret ...this is next year’s valentine gift or else......you are getting the sack...employ wisdom and book now)

So my people that’s the news in Ibibio...I’m so inspired and I have made plans to follow her steps.....gotta go design me a Keke Napep..... Put venetian blinds at the sides and tins....watch this space.

Nollywoodians have struck AGAIN

Its like there is a hell of money to be made in Nollywood oh…bad grammar, poor acting and all shecause (as my daughter would say instead of "because") the way some Nigerian movie stars spend money on the finer things in life I get confused.

Except I am not seeing clearly.... after all I know some Nollywood stars that drive Keke Napep on the side to make ends meet.

If there is another thing these other ones are selling on the side, they should tell us oh because the more I look the less I understand.

And nobody should tell me na God…..I already know that, just tell me how He did it.

Why am I going on like this?

 Haba…are you the only one that doesn’t know that Stephanie Okereke had a destination dream wedding in Paris…but that’s not the issue and huge congrats to her by the way I wish her a happy home with loads of kids.

…I have analyzed her and her hubby’s profile and they are reinvesting into a great business but the issue now is that I see that Nollywood community followed her there for the wedding. Some of the people that went, I have not seen them in a movie since Babangida’s era  *chewing gum fervently with a confused look and thinking deeply at the same time*

 Wait! seriously, near history has shown that there is a way Nollywoodians spend money as if Sanusi gave them spare key to the government vault and I come as an innocent child asking a sincere question…na the movie money una dey spend? Or una dey fix the movie money generate interest? Or do you invest in other businesses?

No be only pastors we go dey shout make dem answer question for this country oh, make we also ask Nollywoodians too.

I don’t believe everybody is sleeping around or pushing cocaine as some people insinuate once they see someone they left for dead making progress oh, I only ask because I really would like to know so I can plan better on how to set my talent.

You know say me sef na actress from belle. In my mother’s womb I acted as a boy sef not to mention my acting level today. Na rain wey fall on audition day, I would have been the lead actress in Titanic I’m telling you.

So you people should educate me so I will know whether this my compere work I should add acting to it as Ibo girl concern. I no come Lagos come count bridge oh though there are about 20 or more minus the new ones Fashola is building that cause endless traffic.

Anyway hope you all will be back in time for AMAA oh, buy something when you are coming.

P.S Stephanie’s Ellie Saab is beaurrriffullll ….nne you are a real movie star, you are running things. Things are not running you.

Linus you must be in love because nna you are spending  some wickedmoney.com dia!!

Stephanie please upon your return to Naija write a book for the remaining Nigerian single girls O nne. ...

“How to catch a hot 9Ja guy and get him to spend money on a glam wedding in a foreign country101”.

Trustest thou me, by the time you finish selling that book, your triplets’ naming ceremony will be in Barbados with Hollywood , Bollywood, Aso rock and Washington in attendance.

Enjoy your day:)

Introducing Kinshan Rechargeable Fans

PHCN is an "AGBAYA"!!! Don’t let them cramp your style.
Buy Kinshan rechargeable fans

They come in 3 sizes

14, 16 and 18 inches

The 14 and 16 inches last for at least 8 hours. (practically through the night till dawn).

The 18 inches lasts for 5 hours and I think it is because it has a large fluorescent lamp as well which might be drawing down on the battery power (just my thoughts).

So I recommend you use the smaller ones in your bedroom while the 18 inches belongs in your living room so that when you have guests (especially your in laws) and PHCN strikes, you can still have a cool room.

 You won’t have to go and put on your generator or expend your precious inverter energy.

 Kinshan fans come with minimum of 6 months warranty and they can be repaired locally as well. This means if you buy it and there is any problem at all, you can send it back and be sure to get it fixed or get a swap.

My uncle is the importer and I am proud of it. Like I have said in an earlier post, anybody that is doing anything to help make life easier in this country should be encouraged.

It’s a good fan, top quality and it is so worth the investment.

If you are interested in buying this fan,call Convinient living Ltd on 08029990504 for enquiries on where to pick yours or if you are within delivery axis.

If you are interested in being a distributor anywhere in Nigeria or beyond ...call Ozy on 08022228288…its good, legal, clean business give it a try.

 Its better than all these yahoo mails you keep sending to me and this your attempting to marry a white woman thrice your age…you know yourself.

14 inch

18 inch

16 inch

Ranting of the day

How expensive or complicated an apparatus are these MRI or CT scan machines, bone scanners etc   that the government cannot make them readily available in as many hospitals or health centers as possible in Nigeria?

From my observation of healthcare in Nigeria the challenge is largely in getting the right diagnosis more than getting the right treatment. Too many people dying from wrong diagnosis or while awaiting the right diagnosis because the equipment is either damaged, non-existent or in only one hospital in the whole country…Its sad to see the way something as fundamental to a nation as the health system has been so terribly compromised in Nigeria.  

May God preserve us and our loved ones

No I wont continue on this, I started this blog to get people’s minds away from their troubles for no matter how little time they can escape so let me not remind you of such things here.

There are other blogs for that.

Love you guys for reading.

Thank you  

About the New Oando Cooking Gas Stove

I stopped at the filling station which I privately refer to as 2^nd Oando chapter 2 on Awolowo road Ikoyi and I stumbled on the new Oando camping gas which they refer to as a gas cooking stove.

See more about it HERE

 I was so drawn to it because it brought back memories of my days in UNIBEN when I cooked with a camping gas. Didn’t like hot plates and stoves were a definite No No…I be ajebo  oh!!!!

So I saw it, asked for the price…me thinks it is quite affordable and I made a mental note that I would tell everyone I know about it.

 In fact I don’t mind being a distributor and I have started making enquiries.

 Wale Tinubu did not send me message to advertise Oh.... I just love a good product when I see one. It shows someone somewhere is thinking and judging from the way a lot of people behave these days, when you see a person or an organization that is actually thinking, then I think such a person or group of persons should be encouraged and assisted.

So  I have used this device before and I can assure you it’s better than stove or firewood and other stressful, nail breaking, soot distributing gadgets some people use to cook.

Then it was so easy to refill, no long queues for kerosene and idolizing one plastic can or another (fear no let me write jerry can or keg…you know people in Hollywood will read this blog one day so I have to be careful about the words I use)

I think  the product is perfect for students, corpers (until NYSC is finally scrapped), men who have refused to marry or even public cooking demonstrations e.g. in women functions ( I have attended a few …that reminds me watch out for some fresh and  healthy cooking recipes on this blog I have quite a plenty and I am willing to share…don’t roll your eyes at me..its my blog eee I can put “kwhatever” I like on it…Lol!)

So back to the matter at hand, I love the new Oando Cooking gas stove and I think you will like it too. Cute, safe and portable!

 If you are a new wife and you are visiting your husband’s village for the first time and you are not sure of your mother in law’s cooking gadget but you still want to play your part before they say xyz…then this is the gadget for you it can fit into the smallest LV sack you can find a.k.a Ghana must go. (Are you not aware that LV sells bags designed like our own dear Ghana must goes bags????...... Or what is the plural of Ghana must go?)

Ok so if you need this cooking stove just walk into any Oando filling station and posses your possession. They told me it sells for N6,800 and inclusive of gas and to refill costs N800 only.

Like I said they did not ask or pay me to advertise for them but its my pleasure to do this because I have a soft spot for Oando …the reasons are too many but for now just know that I have never suffered during fuel scarcity and it is because of some angels God has blessed me with in Oando…Bear hugs to them all…you know yourselves. Thank you so much.

Long live Oando

Death by fire to fuel scarcity

I am not in the cabal oh sha sha before my enemies will say....

One love peeps

Upcoming AMAA

I'm a fan of Nollywood....scratch that...I am an air conditioner...a wind vane of Nollywood.

I like Morris Chestnut...I think he looks like my darling PDoc.

If you know PDoc and you disagree then it's ok lets not fight.

You know I have had myopia for over 15 years so...I see things differently.

I have tickets to AMAA

No i'm not the compere yet but my biggest and most generous client so far is the sponsor.

So why don't I feel like going?

I will try my best...if for no other reason, at least to have my pictures taken and put up so that you all...my potential clients can see the updated version of moi.

Have I told you all that I have lost some weight?

Im working on it seriously, I want to have a TV show someday and I hear a survey taken by Nigerians showed that they would prefer watching a skinny lady to a "fuller" figured lady even if the fuller lady was more interesting and exciting to watch.

Then I took time to watch the shows on African Magic (not movies) and I discovered that indeed we have become “weightists”...which is my word for the size discrimination equivalent of people  known as racists.

No wonder Nigerian TV is largely dependent on foreign programs for flavor even though a significant percentage of the ladies they watch on foreign programmes are full figured.

No problem ama lose the weight and get there afterall im no longer as fat as I used to be.

Thanks to my latest baby.

Ama lose the weight....

Not because of what Nigerians have said but because heck! There are clothes to be worn...lol!

Sleep tight my darlings hope you don't have bed bugs?

Blackberry Anonymous

BB rehab is a new business I am thinking of opening not just because of my Ibo heritage and our need to run business upon business but because I strongly believe that in a few months from now,we are going to need it i.e. if we don’t already need it.

Peeps there is a disease reality we are living with in our society today and the diagnosis is nothing less than BB addiction.

Symptoms are as follows:

1.  Your BB is never far from you -practically always in your hand or at least 5 seconds away from your hand

2.  Every waking moment (and this includes first thing in the morning and even in the middle of the night when you wake up to use the bathroom) is spent checking and rechecking for any or all of these things: BBM status updates, pings, facebook status updates and tweets (then in my case add Linda Ikeji’s blog to the list).

3.  When driving in traffic, once there is a  pause, no matter how brief, you reach for your BB and do number 2 above

4.  When you do number 2 above and there are no new updates, you check again and practically can’t focus on anything else until a fresh update drops then the cycle begins again.

5.   If you have kids or a spouse, you spend more time looking at the BB and listening to them half heartedly than the other way round. This bad behaviour is also exhibited when you have guests or you are a guest.

6. You cannot imagine using another handset apart from THIS BB

7.  Your BB has changed wardrobe more than you have and currently has more outfits than you do.

8.       You check your BB intermittently while praying or reading God’s word, even in church you dey check status update i.e. if you are not updating yours….with pastor’s message or not….na that time you know say you be E-evangelist.

9.   You no dey take eye see envelope or blinking red light

10.  You have all the types of BB chargers invented so far and you rock them well . In fact you have spare batteries and re load your bb like a gun at war.

If you are experiencing at least 3 out of these 10 symptoms, then you need to check into my upcoming BB rehab….*Ahem* of course this will be after I can even boast of recovery myself.

When GSM made its debut in Nigeria, the madness  was about addiction to calls but you and I know we have since moved past that stage of this mobile invasion that uncle OBJ did not fully warn us about.

*Sigh* I remember when Rim was literarily begging the Nigerian market to give them a chance.

The product took over simply because of the BBM factor.

That is just the source of my own addiction. I can’t imagine life without real time sight of what my friends and family are up to. I even have some friends I love so much that I see daily yet I still feel like I miss them just because they are not on BB. It doesn’t help that they have sworn vehemently to stay away from it. Who can blame them? They have seen what it can do to people and like crack, they are determined never to do the BB thing at all.

Today I watched a woman get robbed of her BB in traffic because she was driving and doing the BB mania with her car windows down and this guy passing just reached into the car and took the thing away from her and crossed the road.

 My friend said she should thank God for that guy because maybe she was about to have an accident. I didn’t agree at first but well…it’s all in the spirit of seeing the glass as half full.

It happened so fast, her hands were still in the shape of the phone for a while….SHOCK!!! I stopped breathing for a moment because I thought to myself …what will I do without my BB?

This level of dependency is bad…it is bad…I wish there could be a gadget that will make me more addicted to God’s word like that…I need rehab.

Don’t even get me started on people who wear ear phones 365 days a year…WHAT????

Sincerely in my opinion, these habits plus the noise of the generator and television, traffic hassle and general mad hunt for treasure will be this generation’s undoing if we don’t slow down and make some lifestyle changes.

….Oh for the love of simpler times……I think I will start by going back to my Nokia…baby steps…baby steps!...let me try spelling discipline first *tough choices*

Too Funny

Helen Paul the comedienne...Hilarious!!

I know you might have seen this before but its so funny I couldn't resist uploading it from my archives

War of the media vixens..D Linda Ikeji vs Toke Makinwa Saga

Hallo my latest favorite people
How are you all doing? Exciting things have been happening to and for me, in due time, pictures will unfold but first there are dresses to make and shoes to buy...*wink* wink*

If you have not booked me yet, try to book me now because the way Jehovah is moving in my life.....ha...No spiritual LASTMA can stop me oh.

I'm on one way oh....full speed ahead and loving it.

Meanwhile things have been happening in blogsville...my white friends will say...
"Aro e meeee!!!"

Trouble was wearing a fully comfy 100% cotton nightshirt sleeping in a fully air conditioned room with orthopedic mattress snoring lightly when crazy miss Nyanga went to wake trouble up.In this case, trouble is Linda Ikeji plus her fans who are the PDP of commentators as far as blogsville is concerned (if you catch my drift). Ol boy eeee if those people comment on your picture and say you are beautiful...just register for MBGN and if they say you are ugly, call it a day!

If you are not overdosing on confidence pills, don’t just carry yourself there and pray her journalistic fingers don’t remember your matter because those people will analyze you, shred you then glue you back together again but never the same once Linda puts you up there.
You cannot enter her blog as a subject and come out the same. QED!!!

The combined team of Linda's blog and her commenters are principalities on their own and at the rate they are going .......Wisdom is profitable to direct!

Na so oh ....A certain Toke Makinwa who is a radio and TV host now went and said on air that people should not look up to Linda as a mentor or something like that and Linda got wind and whiff of this information and yes...wrote it on her very blog then did not stop at reporting Toke on her blog, she then told a super story of Wale Adenuga proportions and Goodluck Jonathan dimensions of how God has lifted her from shame to fame....tears were actually mentioned in the write up and I think I even had some in my own ordinarily tough eyes as I read the story ...you can read all the grammar HERE

Hence and a half.com........the commenters a.k.a "World People" have since used Toke to make shredded turkey pepper soup. As in as I type this news, Linda fell asleep publishing 1,502 comments on this matter and there are plenty more where that came from. Then in all that 1,502 comments...maybe 2 spoke in favour of Toke and all they were saying was ...."Make una sorry naaa have mercy chei!!" Ok maybe not in those exact words but something like that.

Well you people know me I am a pastor's wife and the bible said blessed are the peacemakers...my full name is Chigozirim which means God has blessed me...hence i cannot help but be a peace maker...hope you are following the equation.

I want to appeal to Linda to forgive Toke. It can sting when someone says something like that about you especially when they don't even know you from a can of paint (as Queen Latifah said in the 90s).
And then she said it on air again..chei!
However Linda these things happen, that is how you know you are now large and in charge....when they talk about you and discuss you...ask Jlo, ask Whitney H, ask Obama...HECK! Ask JESUS CHRIST. In the course of your work I know there were days you got some people's feelings hurt too by expressing your opinion as well so please forgive her and take heart.

Toke...I’m sure you have advised yasef already...I don't even know what to say to you...lol! I hear that you are a lovely person though and you were just doing your job. Like I said Linda can be highly opinionated too and it rubs people the wrong way sometimes so what you have done is not new...however I’m sure people's comments stung bad and you probably are exhausted from defending yourself or looking for people who will understand where you were speaking from. Girl...that's life- things happen...move on. At least you got some publicity out of the drama. Some people never heard about Linda until Oluchi abused her thoroughly don’t take my word for it..just ask brother Google..Lol!

As for Linda's commenters ....I greet you all. God bless all of you oh...una no dey see my blog? Make una try dey come here from time to time oh me sef dey find millions like Linda but make una no curse me oh I no fit shout Oh....Lol!

And finally brethren, to you who is wondering which one is your business inside Chigo? Who made you an authority? Who..Wetin...bla bla bla..asking so many questions

…..in the words of that  Nigerian hit track....all na wash!

ROTFL!
I love my life O jare ...Have a fulfilling day my darlings.

Telecoms Ad

Struggled with putting this yeye man on my blog but hey...laff it off!

...but telcos sha...they can do all sorts of promos.

Every little counts when you are the customer right?

Please if you are the husband of this woman what would you do?

*I hear gunshots already*...Lol!

Newspaper vs Hot Date

Which Newspaper would "shack" a Nigerian man like this?

Introducing the most insulted people on social media today

While I was trying to take over the world today, I noticed that some persons got a very rough end of the stick on FB, twitter, whats app, BB you just name it.

Whatever social media there was out there, these personalities were getting insulted per second, per alphabet ,per enter button.

1.       MTN (or NTM as pronounced by one of my former nannies)

So it turns out that customers of the yellow telecom giant woke up a few days ago to find huge chunks of their airtime missing (in some cases - everything) and all hell broke loose.

 In fact at midnight after the exact date of the incident, someone updated her status as follows “dear MTN I’m going to bed and I’m going to switch off my phone, wrap it in a black cloth and put it under my pillow let me see how you will come and take my money”….Then she proceeded to label them with a name I do not care to repeat….I don’t need to tell you she was just being ridiculously funny but at the same time trying to express her pain.

  Truth be told my heart went out to the telco giant (after going out to the subscribers of course) because I am so sure the matter was due to a technical glitch…these things happen, technology is not perfect you know and I was so sure the issue would be rectified ASAP and subs compensated urgently.

However it seems the ugly incident repeated itself today and customers went off the chain …you know Nigerians have always been very touchy about their cash and then subsidy was  removed….then PHCN still didn’t bring back the light….and the tropical heat/ozone layer/global warming issue….yish! People are living on the edge and they are ready to bite off anybody’s head. So they were not patient today at all.

 I pray for NTM oh that the issue is sorted and they make peace with their subscribers soon but for now they gonna need holy water and dettol to wash away some of them curses that were rained today. It is well.

2^nd award for most insulted entity of today goes to John Fashanu….How does a person go from being so highly revered to highly trashed?...

He went to testify in court to help Ibori’s case…his strategy which I’m sure was briefed to him by Ibori’s legal counsel was to highlight all the positive things Ibori has ever done even from his mother’s womb till date.

Well Nigerians rained insults on him as they claimed he was listing things that were false like the amalgamation of Nigeria , the discovery of river Niger, turning water to wine etc….Just kidding... but people were not happy with some things he said and he got the rough end of the stick today on social media…I felt for him…could be quite painful to suffer such blows when all you were trying to do was help a friend out. A sensitive matter it was but he was just trying to help his friend…poor guy!

3^rd Award goes to none other than Ibori himself as the court case reopened old wounds for Nigerians and people from Delta state who felt and still feel seriously cheated by the happenings of the last few years. I hear that when you get into government, the kind of money you meet there can turn your head so much you can’t think straight and this was the calamity that befell Ibori and several government officials like him.

Well all I have to say is that INEC better commission a medical team to come up with an antidote which they inject into the blood of election winners to avert this malady and national disaster which plagues government after government on all levels.

 To add a plural dimension to all the insults rained on him today, Ibori was sentenced to 13 years imprisonment which has some technical terms that in a nutshell means yes he is going to jail but he will not be there for 13 actual years… (ask a lawyer that will agree to explain to you for free).

And his properties were confiscated.

I’m guessing this includes whatever he had even before he got into government

What a day for these 3 personalities…for what its worth guys it could have been worse.

 Tomorrow you can start afresh to make a change. Be strong!


In the meantime yours truly is monitoring the matter of Obama and the Columbian Prostitution racket scandal. I think they are trying to set him up but the movie just started and Jack Bauer has not appeared so i'll keep you posted.