Quote for the day

As seen on a friend's DP

"How can Nigeria's Agricultural sector grow when anytime it rains,our youths scream "weather for two" instead of going out to plant yam?"

LOL!

Keep Nigeria Clean Please

Ladies and gentlemen lets get something clear....It is never cool to litter the roads from your car or your bag or your house or your hotel or your eatery etc ...it leads to blocked drainages and then when rain falls we get FLOOD and the road to yours truly's house becomes suitable for only boats and swimming expeditions.

As for government mbok! biko! we beg please give us proper, timely, suitable waste disposal solution oh!!!

 I cant count how many times LAWMA has recieved calls from me telling them to come and collect my overflowing  bin 2 weeks past their deadline or more.

Help us oh government help us

And whats up with repairing ALL the roads at the same time during rainy season?

Naija government ...It is well.

Thank you

Natural Hair is back

To understand this post better, you have to read HERE
We're happy to announce the return of our natural hair meet-up: NATURALS IN THE CITY! Yay! Not just for naturals, NITC's for all hair lovers. (Wanna be a vendor? Contact info below.)
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NATURALS IN THE CITY 3
"Healthy Hair & Skin"

WHEN
Saturday, June 30, 2012
1:30 - 6:00p.m.

WHERE
Omenka Gallery
24, Ikoyi Crescent (off Osborne Road), Ikoyi

ADMISSION
Free
__________________

NITC3's going to be great:

- LEARN: We'll be talking hair, skin, and nutrition

- SHOP: Get the best hair products, hair accessories, other accessories, beauty products, healthy snacks & drinks, and more

- WIN: Get a chance to win a gift basket of hair and beauty products in our customary raffle draw

- GORGEOUS VENUE: The icing on the cake is Omenka Gallery, a lovely art exhibition space in Ikoyi with beautiful pieces of art, right at the edge of the lagoon

Bring a friend or three. Remember: NITC's not just for naturals--it's for all hair lovers. So feel free to forward this to as many people you can: let's all help get the word out.

Questions or want to be a vendor? Email or call us: screwyhair@gmail.com, nn@naturalnigerian.com, 07031002668.

Can't wait to see you there!

Smooches,

Natural Nigerian
(http://www.naturalnigerian.com)

Screwy Haired Girl
(http://screwyhair.wordpress.com)

Sherese Ijewere
(http://caribhealthng.com)

SEX EDUCATION....My Way!

Did you know that once a woman starts being sexually active it increases her risks of contacting so many diseases?

Then if she has multiple partners either at once or periodically, it opens the door and increases risks even higher to so so so so so  many sexually transmitted diseases including cervical cancer!!!!

 As in beyond HIV now...there are more deadly diseases associated with sex.

My mouth was agape when I read that the virus responsible for cervical cancer has its house address right on top of the man’s sexual body part....YEP!!!!!!...google it if you doubt me...that’s why once a woman is sexually active and above 35 (or so they say)you should go for a pap smear every 2 years so if the thing is affecting you negatively, they can treat you and nip it in the bud.

Then breast cancer,...that one is traced to hormones surges which multiply when you take the pill and other hormone related substances for birth control and trying to conceive and so on and so forth....when I say women have issues.....I ain’t playing..... so many issues we need to be aware of and protect ourselves from with the Grace of God on our side *sigh*.

As in when I was in school, they had airborne diseases, then water borne diseases and then there was bad old malaria but now there is sexually transmitted diseases...a whole subheading or chapter dedicated to diseases you can catch once you open the door to sex..

I found all this out because in recent times; someone very close and dear to me has been fighting cancer so I did some very deep reading and googling which led me to discover why honestly speaking if you are not ready to get married and settle down with ONE PERSON, then my brother , my sister....you have no business being sexually active!.

You know there are so many things God has warned, instructed, advised, begged and counseled us not to do and the truth is that we keep doing these things and that is why the world is the way it is today. That is why there is so much suffering, pain and heartache because of the choices we make daily. 

You need to agree with God to keep yourself sexually pure, everything starts from the mind. You can do it, abstinence does not kill and NO! Cobwebs don’t gather in your body when you abstain

* rolling my eyes*

I know the world has lied to us that once you are in a relationship, it is not complete without sex...that’s a vicious lie.

Then some people speak of performance, How will I know?...ehm stay single if you are so doubtful  because from where I am standing marriage is basically a leap of faith...faith in God and faith in the person. Sex is not the only thing people do in marriage, if anything this sex of an activity is the first thing you most likely will get tired of doing in marriage...what with all the stress that accompanies being an adult/ parent? Don’t let Hollywood deceive you oh...it is not like that... 

You see my problem with America and indeed Hollywood is that they have allowed themselves to be a channel of lies, deceit  and corruption...honestly!!!

Most people learnt the most part of what they know about sex from TV programs largely thrown to us by Hollywood. They made nudity look cool and elitist when it is actually primitive.

They made fornication look normal when it is a sin, they made living together without getting married look legal when it is the greatest crime you can commit to yourself especially as a woman, they made divorce look like freedom when it is actually a new type of bondage and so on and so forth now they are pushing the alien agenda and all sorts of weird stuff but the one that breaks my heart the most is the issue of homosexuality and lesbianism.

I am not gay and have never experimented in that manner and I don’t know anyone within my circle of influence that is gay, however I see some gaps in the whole matter. You see some years back, homosexuality was written in as a psychiatric/psychological problem but today, the 1^st black president of America openly endorsed it as normal and so does every other movie or series you care to watch coming from Hollywood and they are just confusing people the more.

See I have analyzed this issue closely and from what I can see there are 5 stages which we need to reason together and address fully. Stage 1 a person realizes that he/she is attracted to same sex. Stage 2 the person hears from Hollywood and the world that there is such a thing as being gay...you are not the only one attracted to same sex, it’s not a defect, you were born this way......Stage 3 The person chooses to accept the story in stage 2 and begins to accept that he or she is gay. Stage 4 The person now finds a partner or is found by a partner (or in extreme cases initiates an innocent soul either in school, jail or wherever else) and stage 5 they start having sex, they move in together or get married and adopt a child.

Like I said i’m not gay but I honestly think that even if a person cannot control who they are attracted to, you can control what you believe about yourself. Who told you that you are gay? Did God tell you that HE made you gay? You heard it somewhere that such a thing exists and you accepted it. You don’t have to accept it, you may not understand it but you don’t have to accept it and while you are trying to understand it, you don’t have to become sexually active because some of these gay people are so promiscuous and it spreads diseases.

There are heterosexual men and women who are not in relationships and have made up their minds to abstain from sex till they meet someone and that brings me to two questions you might ask next,

Dear Chigo, so since a person is attracted to same sex, should they live their  lives alone forever and without a family, I mean at least the heterosexuals have hope that someday they might meet someone but you sound like you are saying the gay person should stay single forever because marrying someone they are not attracted to for the sake of appearances would be a lie.

My response to this is that if you find yourself attracted to persons of the same sex as you, go to your manufacturer, talk to HIM, He will sort you out collect your identity from HIM.

 DO not allow Hollywood or magazines or the internet define you. If your maker tells you that He made you gay then I rest my case  but I doubt He will tell you that.

My challenge with people today is that we allow the same ignorance around us define us. I drive a Kia and from the day I stopped servicing it with the manufacturers and allowed someone else work on it, I have not enjoyed the car again...come to think of it, the money and inconvenience I was avoiding from going to the manufacturers, I think I may have grossed or exceeded with this new mechanic...*note to self* FIRE HIM!!

You need to sit down with the manufacturer of your life and download your full details from HIM. Do not allow the world define you. My brother, my sister don’t settle for the easy way out, the  bible is clearly against homosexuality, that is not God’s best plan for you...If it was, Adam and Eve would have been the same sex.

We are a lazy, faithless generation. We don’t want to take the pains to walk with God and hear from Him and we wonder why things are going worse everyday and why bad things are happening to good people. This is a fallen world and we are yielding to the enemy every day. God loves you and He everything He said we shouldn’t do is for our own good. Dare to believe and accept that, take it one day at a time but refuse to yield to the lies of Hollywood.

There are no short cuts in life my people you need to build character and discipline and when you walk with the manufacturer of Humanity you will build character and discipline and when you have those two things you will experience true freedom and peace. Challenges will still come but you would have reduced them to a bare minimum both now and in the life hereafter.

Finally, imagine the other day I heard people are now swallowing balloons which will be injected with saline solution so they feel full and don’t have to eat so much, so they can loose weight.

If it’s a medical condition I’m ok with it sounds like a plan but if that person is using it as a quick fix ...as in the person just doesn’t want to sit down and make some life and diet changes then that’s just wrong.

Avoid short cuts people!!......Discipline will get you  better long term results and quality of life.

  I’m not writing to judge anyone, I just want to help someone find freedom, peace and sanity in this “wonderful” world.

Dear friend,. we are a product of our choices....Make the right choice today...it all begins in your MIND!!!!

Letter to Lagos Road Contractors

Come first, let me ask the contractors of Lagos roads: what is really the issue?

What is going on?
Explain to me why when they give you people a contract to repair a road, you first of all damage the whole road...as in even the portions of the road that were good, you first go and dig it all up.


Is it some sort of ritual or celebration of the contract?
Is it part of the process?
As in hurray you have gotten the contract so you first scatter it in celebration.


Or it is like malaria treatment...you first get worse before you get better
Whats really going on oh?
Ago, Amuwo, Surulere,Orile... so many others....I don't get it. Somebody please break it down.
And why do they award these contracts during raining season?
Na wa! Genevieve abeg borrow me one of ya many jeeps till rain fall finish. Thank you.
Well at least Lagos is trying, they are even awarding contracts for roads.

Eastern governors how far?


Not every problem in life is spiritual oh, some have simple physical solution. 
It is well Lagos, Nigeria it is well. Even in the well it is well...Ask bro. Daniel and Joseph in the bible.

I trust my people..... very resilient. You people will not frustrate the masses...very soon families will have 2 cars, 1 bicycle and a canoe.

I rest my case

Client Fever

Ha! Ha! Following my write up on the five kinds of women in the posts below, I got inspired to write about the kinds of clients you can meet in the event business.

Whether you are a photographer, caterer, decorator, DJ etc as far as you are in the event business, you are going to meet, have met or are presently in talks with these clients and you better be prepared for the drama ahead when you meet them.

 The trick is to read them right from day ONE and try to  proactively be ahead of them at all times or else you are going to go crazy or lose the privilege of their referral  for nothing...Lol!

Enjoy

1.       The Slates: I secretly call these guys the slates because they truly remind me of blank Slates. They honestly do not have a plan or clue about how they want things to run and just leave it to you the vendor to decide. They usually have the money to pay but may or may not have sat down to draw up a budget. Heck they have not sat down to draw up a plan. Some are not even clear on what exactly it is that you do but they heard you offer that service and it is a “nice to have” at their party so they call you and haggle a bit and let you do your thing once they are satisfied with the figure. The up side about such clients is that you can try new things with them i.e. give your usual service and then go the “extra” mile or try out the new idea or skill you have been itching to try. If they end up enjoying your service(s) they can become your biggest fans and publicists because they are like children who just made a new discovery and they would tell anyone who cares to listen about you and your fantastic service. The down side is that the suspense during preparation can be frustrating because their level of involvement can be quite low. Sometimes you might call and call and call and they won’t pick your calls, they respond to texts late if at all and generally don’t treat you as a critical resource. For such people, get them to pay a commitment fee or sign a one page contract or something so you are sure you have got the job, then ask them to give you someone to liaise with if you have questions while preparing and generally don’t sweat the small stuff. Give your best and something extra because like I said if they are happy...you will be happy eventually. 

2.       The Drawers : They are a bit like the Slates- blank at first but as they catch on, you begin to feel you are suddenly acting a script in your very own nightmare because they begin to do research and dig up all sorts of information about what you do- both ancient and modern ....and you know what that means...even things you have not heard of or thought about begin to crawl out. These people may not have the money to pay but they want the best by faith. So they send you on errands, they keep changing their minds, they ask questions upon questions sometimes secretly seeking how they can cut corners...get the value of 1M for maybe 50k. You need to be patient with these people and be confident in your work. Always keep records properly and be firm or else any small shift and story will enter for your payment. So be firm, always clarify on expectations and SHINE YOUR EYE. If you can’t deliver on something do not promise that you can to avoid issues in future. These people refer you easily as well but they always have a comment attached of even the slightest negative thing that went wrong. “ The boy is good sha but he can come late for meetings”....”Their food is sweet sha but their servers didn’t cover their hair”....Lol!

3.       The Khardasians: I am tempted to call this people money miss road ....but I wont because honestly they are kinda every business man’s dream client. They have the money to spend and they will not be satisfied with suggestions of low budget or cheaper options. They have determined to close the town with their party and they will not be held back. If its decor ....they want floral mixed with lights and drapes and bubbles and balloons..the full works. They hire male Compere, female Compere and 3 comedians, venue is the biggest hotel in town with catering and they will still bring a big caterer from outside the hotel to add to the menu and they will still pay corkage. Too Much MONEY!!!! They have a point to make and by all means the point will be made oh. At whatever cost. And they won’t let you rest oh...every time your phone will be ringing as they add to the brief and keep warning you not to mess the event up...Lol!.They look at parties and imagine the cost is in millions and they run with it. Note that they may not always be the wealthiest persons in society. They may even borrow to meet all these expectations they have of themselves or maybe owe some hundreds of thousands at the end of the day and begin to dodge....  but who cares. This group of people are stingy with publicity. If you are going for this kind of event, carry ya own pull up banner, tie up banner, flag etc. Do your own publicity there because they will not go out of their way to recommend you except there is something in it for them at the end of the day or except someone actually asks them to recommend a vendor (in some cases they would claim not to remember who did the job sef). Quote me.

However since they were trying to make a point, they’d probably invite the crème de la crème of society (at least in their own eyes) and so if you carry your own advert with you those people will see you clearly and if you do a good job, it will be worth it eventually. Oh please try and get at least 80% payment out of these people before the event and whatever happens keep your cool...repeat after me ..The customer is always right...Now smile widely for the camera...Good!.

4.       Baby Client: These people are not the ones funding the event even though they are the known celebrants. If you like bring all the ideas in your arsenal, go to the moon and back and let them get as excited as a growing toddler with your ideas....if the true “sponsor” of the parry don’t like ya face, ya smile, ya smell or ya name...NOTHING FOR YOU!!! So once you even suspect this is the case....bros/sis...find the sponsor somehow and make him or her happy. Take my case for instance as a Compere.....if the funder wants IK and the celebrant wants me..this is what will happen :either they cancel me last minute after I have made my outfit, my hair, my nails, my teeth and my eyelashes (ladies you know how we do naaa) OR they will hire me and I will be useless to myself and my generation that day because the funder will pay IK and empower Ik to run things and I will be rendered redundant and my baby client will not be able to do much because honestly he/she didn’t pay a dime. The guests couldn’t care less about him/ her... they came because of the “sponsor” who could be the parent, sugar daddy, honey mummy or CEO. So my dear “ Mr. I’mtryingtomakemoney inthiseventbusinessofathing someborri”.....Find who is really paying the bills and see how you can win their very heart so you can smile to the bank and have a fulfilling outing come d-day. 

5.       Whatever my special adviser says: There are these other clients who have money, they are above 18 so they are adults, they are also the actual celebrants..... everything looks fine on the outside but when you look again, you will find that they are not really in charge of the decision making process. Not because they are not empowered to but because for some reason, there is this wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, aunty, cousin, whoever whatever that is advising them. Telling them that you are not the reigning caterer, that someone else they know takes better pictures, that one DJ can play better music etc....Be afraid, be very afraid because this adviser can make or mar ya plans. It is either they remove the entire cake from your mouth or they ensure that other vendor at the back of their mind shares your cake with you and in some extreme cases they take a large chunk with them. I can’t count the number of times this thing has happened to so many people I know. To overcome this situation, you don’t need a prophet to tell you to win that friend over, possibly get to know what line of business he or she is in and find a bridge to connect with him or her or else......bush meat will cash the hunter..Lol! 

6.       DIY Client ...Hmmmm!!! This client....You will just keep asking yourself....”why did he or she hire me if they know they could handle this job themselves”? DIY stands for Do It Yourself. They hire you but if you take any pride in your work you will be offended because they practically push you out of the moving train and take over your role. In extreme cases at the end of the day they will tell you that they were not satisfied with your work after all they did everything themselves so they aint gonna give you ya balance cheii!!! Breathe in...Breathe out...Take it easy...Man shall not live by bread alone, forgive them. What you need to do is be proactive, set boundaries. Once contracted have rules and please know your onions. Don’t allow for any kind of slack on your part. DO not allow them approach the vehicle at alllll else they will take over... Lol!

7.       The Scientists.... I fear these ones oh but sometimes, on a good day they are worth working with because they make you come out better...hmmm! These kind of clients always want something new, different, never been done before. They want you to think outside the box...farrrrrr outside the box..Infact set the box on fire and re invent the wheel but this time make it a triangle......Ah! apologies in advance if you get this kind of client because you fit no dey sleep...Lol! .....Payment? ...They usually have money to pay but the kind of African magic they want to see......you are the one that might return the money to them . Some of these kind of clients will now line up several vendors offering the same service and make them start somersaulting with ideas and you can spend so much money trying to impress them with samples and demonstrations. In the end it might be worth it if their experiment works out and people see your innovation with them and start patronizing you  but they also will not allow the world drink water because they will tell even the rats in their area that they were  the ones who pushed you to get that innovation. My dear the important thing is that you got the job and you got your money so keep your eyes on the ball and ignore everything else...Lol!

P.S did you know Lol! Is now taught in schools as part of the list of punctuation marks in the English language?.....Just kidding.... Lol!....can’t help myself now I’m really laughing out loud....this Chigo is something else...smh!

The 5 Kinds of Women....Drama Queen!

Monique plays Miss Parker in the sitcom "The Parkers"....
Now thats a type of Drama Queen !!!....the way she chases the professor around...Lol!

This woman is either a doll, a cream doll, a babe or a mama mia…….. That means she can be basic, street smart, book smart, have incredible faith in herself or all of the above but her major distinguishing factor is that she has an overdose of passion that is why she is excessive and exaggerated in her words, actions, decisions and sometimes her looks or dress sense. She is overly sensitive, uses strong adjectives, makes cutting accusations or generalizations and believes everything is about her and everyone is against her.

Our lady of drama is not the most realistic of persons, she thrives on conspiracy theories  and by default strikes you as someone who has either seen too many movies or does not live on planet earth. When she is sad, she borders on mental depression and throws a pity party telling anyone who cares to listen exaggerated long winding historical versions about the issue. If angry, she may destroy valuables and even get into public fist cuffs. All emotions are taken to the extreme and she does not forget or forgive easily and can be very restless.

When faced with the choice of going into business, drama queen is very diverse like mama mia but does not apply herself as much because she is easily distracted and takes every business challenge too personally. So for example she wants to start trading and has a misunderstanding with the supplier, she quarrels with him violently and if he is as unforgiving as she is, that door is closed forever. If supplier is a forgiving person, the quarrels may get so frequent that he/she eventually chooses to close the door forever so his peace of mind and integrity can remain.

If she chooses the path of an office career, let’s just say everyone would prefer to work with someone else on their team. She may get ahead based on relationships and certain fortunate circumstances but can only go so far, she most likely will not rise beyond certain levels of leadership.

For romantic relationships, you will either find her in a “love lost” situation (where her man is barely tolerating her) or divorced, separated or very single with a long history of bad break ups which she swears were due to the errors from the men, but if examined closely can be traced to yours truly . 

While her peers are getting gifts and getting spoilt by their men she is wondering why nobody ever does anything for her and sometimes finds her self trying to buy people or mend relationships with gifts and money. She also engages in extreme acts of kindness or generosity but most times it’s aimed at mending fences or making room for a new relationship which she will surely ruin with her own hands if the person is not very understanding.

In the event that her car breaks down at the same busy junction as our other friends, her man will eventually hear from third parties about how she was fighting with the mechanic or how she broke down and wept profusely on the side walk and attracted the sympathy of the general public

The interesting thing is that men are initially attracted to her passionate outbursts but eventually get tired of the whole drama they find themselves in just because they chose her. If you find Drama queen as a single mom, its because her man got tired and left her, he just couldn’t cope with all the “drama”.

To help drama queen become a better person, she must learn to manage her emotions better. She must understand that not everything is about her and the world is not against her. Other people have their own problems too.

 If you are involved with her and need the relationship to work, continually reassure her that you have her best interest at heart; always communicate and explain things to her. She needs to be sure of your honesty and loyalty to her- that way it will always be you and her against the whole world and then you can teach her better and help her see the world correctly through your eyes.

Hope these 5 articles have helped you understand yourself, your friend or your loved one even better. I will deploy a self help quiz soon so you can take the test too.

The 5 Kinds of Women....Mama Mia!

You know her; she is always helpful,full of tips, advice on almost any issue and self sacrificing (sometimes to a fault). She is so confident, believes so much in herself, is very street smart and in some cases book smart plus one more thing; very passionate.

Mama Mia is not very particular about her looks; her fashion sense is based on her background and what appeals to her generally but you will never find her waving her beauty as a weapon or tool for getting ahead except in very extreme cases (but this is not usually her style).  She is very industrious and when faced with the option of going into business, she picks more than one; combining domestic ,feminine, talent based businesses (like catering, fashion, etc ) with trading (in any fast moving consumer good of her choice) and any other line of business plus MORE. This lady can actually have multiple streams of income because she has loads of passion and enough drive for more than one human being.

If she chooses to pursue a career, she is usually passionate about her job, very hardworking and committed to her employers but somehow she does not really get ahead too quickly because she is overly self  sacrificing and loses plenty of opportunities to shine.

This lady has the same desire for success and financial freedom as the cream doll but she takes so much pride in herself and her ability to get to the top by applying her self so when it comes to relationships, you find out that somehow she manages to pick or attract men who are just starting up in life. She picks guys who have “potential” so they search for the perfect job for him together, move into a rented apartment and pay for it together and she generally assists in every way she can especially financially because she usually brings in more money than he does due to her very industrious nature and usually has lots of helpful friends because of her self sacrificing ways.

Deep down, this lady cares a lot about her comfort level (and that of her family) and how outsiders perceive her (or them) and until her man can run the home to a satisfactory level, she continually pushes herself to do more and make more money. This sometimes leads her to become quite discontent when she pauses to compare herself with other women.

She is a very optimistic person and believes the best for the future but prefers to be in full control of her future home and circumstances so her choice in men is always based on the desire to grow together. Now, as to the issue of whether the man she chooses is worth her sacrificial and emotional investment will depend on loads of factors that do not concern us in this article for now.

If her car has a problem, she usually knows exactly what the problem is and sometimes can fix it herself. so at a busy junction, her car breaks down, she would either attack the issue herself or call the mechanic then tell her husband all about it when she gets home or even days later.

Relationship squabbles with her man arise from his misinterpreting her passionate nature, belief in him and  initial self sacrificing ways to mean she is blindly loving and submissive. He is then  later surprised  by her determined strong will to succeed with or without him and this with time strikes  him like a seeming lack of submission or regard for him. On her part, if he does not buckle up quickly from Mr. potential to Mr. productive, she becomes discontented because deep down she ties true leadership to financial provision and cannot keep respecting or pretend to be respecting him if he does not provide visionary leadership, financial muscle or both.

Mama Mia has loads of friends and people who are grateful to her for all her helpful advice, tips and assistance over time so she also gets gifts and favors from men and women alike. If you find her as a single mom, it will only be because the man with “potential” abandoned her for a “more submissive woman” most likely after she had helped him to the top or because she left him when she realized his “potential” will never mature into a product. 

To help mama mia avoid poor choices, she will need to deal with her self sacrificing ways and realize that she too deserves the best things life has to offer therefore giving herself a chance when the opportunities arise…. even in her choice of men.

If you are a man involved with mama mia, just learn to love her, encourage  her to be a woman and allow you care for her as she deserves. Provide leadership and make good financial decisions and you will surely get the best of her.

The 5 Kinds of Women....The Babe!

This lady is the evolved cream doll; she has gone beyond just learning to care for her self physically but has become street smart and book smart. She is not as self absorbed as the cream doll but is generally looking out for herself so she is a bit selfish but not in a scheming, ruthless way like our cream doll.

When faced with the decision of starting a business, she will make her decision based on market trends, profit margins, competitive options and other “reasonable” information. This lady will most likely start a business which she will give her concentration and efforts to and usually the business grows well.

Career wise you will find her performing in diverse operational or strategic functions not afraid to take on new challenges and ready to learn more in her chosen or circumstantial field. In times of promotion or challenges with work load, she competes fairly, applies herself more and doesn’t seek a male colleague to bail her out infact sometimes the tables are turned and she bails her male colleagues out.

The Babe does not need or seek a man to define her. She has a source of income which she depends on and is content with who she is but that doesn’t stop her from receiving a man’s generosity if he chooses to. However she never takes this to mean she owes him gratitude in form of sex. She also has the good senses to assess a gift and decline politely if she feels it will compromise her in any way.

That does not mean the babe can never be promiscuous or is by default a virgin; but very rarely is this the circumstance as are they are usually with one man at a time and generally  attract Mr. right before they hit the age of 35; He is usually a stable and consistent young man, at most 3 years older with a good job, nice simple life, possibly at least one good car and a bright future, either an employee in a good firm or a promising business man who met her under regular circumstances which blossomed into a lovely friendship leading (or has led) to marriage as we speak.

The babe has a good relationship with men and her husband’s/boyfriend’s friends can carry on a conversation with her easily.

She has her mechanic’s number and calls him at the slightest hint of car issues and if at all her car breaks down at a junction, she usually calls her mechanic before calling her man except in rare cases.

If she is ever found to be a single mother it will be traced to regular relationship misunderstandings.

The only thing babe can improve on is on setting her dreams beyond “normal” so she can achieve greater things and give back to society, for example,  Instead of just dreaming of starting her own business just to make money for herself, she can dream of becoming an employer of labour  so she can be a blessing to others. She has the capacity to always do better than she thinks she can. 

The 5 Kinds of Women...The Cream Doll!



Vanessa Williams plays the character of
Wilhelmina Slater from the Sitcom Ugly Betty
...Typical Cream Doll

This lady is an evolved version of the doll with the edge being that she is street smart. She is very savvy in the art of scheming and in extreme cases can be tagged an opportunist.  

In some cases, she may not have been born beautiful but over the years she has mastered the art of perfection. Hair is always in place, you will never catch her without her makeup (at the very least she must use her eyeliner or lip gloss before leaving her room) and she loves to mix and match colours in her clothing and accessories. She is also very attractive and even admired by other women for her fashion sense from hair to toe.

She has mastered the art of using what she has to get what she wants and will scheme her way into a man’s heart, pocket or both and possibly still not sleep with him before getting what she wants then gets rid of him when she is through. Interestingly, she still knows how to scheme her way back into his life when she needs him again and she will keep coming in and out of his life and his pocket until he gets smart and does away with her for good. The cream doll has been known severally to resort to outright blackmail (emotional or otherwise) to have her way. Most of her actions are premeditated to ultimately benefit only one person…. Herself!

 When faced with the decision of starting a business, she will consciously choose an option that gives her time to do other things and if she is honest with herself, the business is really not her true source of income. The business really just gives her money to “accessorize” and pamper herself. Her true source of income is a man (possibly her rich husband) or a conglomerate of men. Please note that she isn’t necessarily sleeping with them all, she just knows how to manipulate them with her beauty to get what she wants. Just like the doll, she is very dependent on men, but in her case it is a very conscious thing. When faced with challenges (which is very often because of how selfish she is), she consciously seeks out a man who will bail her out.

Career wise you will find her happily performing in routine functions as well but always scheming her way to get closer to power and authority. In times of promotion or challenges with work load, she can do anything, hob-nob with anybody and say anything just to get ahead. Her combination of beauty and wickedness is very smooth and even attractive when you are not the victim.

Don’t bother approaching her for a relationship if you cant spend. She is high maintenance!  By default, she just can’t be with a poor man and will not be satisfied with a Mr. lover boy.  However in the event that Mr. lover boy is so fantastic because there is some specific need he is meeting in her life, our cream doll will definitely get someone else to satisfy her financial needs.

Deep down, her perfect and ideal relationship or marriage plan is to be the wife of a prominent or powerful and wealthy man. She subconsciously seeks a man to define her and she has absolutely no qualms with being an additional wife to a politician, chief or very wealthy business mogul and the marriage usually occurs in her late 20s and above. In the event that you find her to be the only legal wife of that man, you may even discover that there was a first wife somewhere; dead or alive this is because cream doll does not have the patience or ability to start life afresh with a young school leaver, struggling business man or job hunter and men in such categories. She needs an already made man preferably at least 5 years older in age.

 Cream doll has stepped on many toes because she is sleeping with or married to “a big man” and has since lost any sense of respect except for people she believes to be more wealthy, powerful and useful than her present man.

She never drives anything less than a brand new or expensive car and usually has a driver which “big man” is paying for.  However, in the case that her car should break down, she usually calls big man first (with lots of impatience, shouting, cursing and anger) and he then calls the mechanic even though she had the mechanic’s number  or had several opportunities to take it but didn’t.

She is a schemer and believes everything should be done for her by a man, period! And in the rare event when she spends money or time on a man, there is always a plan to get her resources back tenfold. She uses people, nothing leaves her for free.

An unmarried cream doll who is not presently in a relationship (for whatever reason) takes good care of herself and loves shopping, travelling, pampering herself etc but still believes money is very important in every relationship and “Mr. right” must be rich...non negotiable!

You can hardly find her as a single mother except it is part of a long term plan or maybe  the product of a grand scheme that somehow backfired on her.

If you seek a better relationship with the cream doll, first understand that she is selfish largely because of her deep rooted fear of failure and lack of trust for anybody but herself. Yet she does not believe in herself enough to know that she can live successfully without seeking a man’s money or putting others down. Help her by calling her attention to her strengths and how she can channel them towards a productive life for herself.

The 5 Kinds of Women.....The Doll

She is extremely beautiful or attractive (in either face, body or both) and effortlessly too. A head turner any day even in the simplest of clothes.. but upon deeper interaction with her at work or play, she may strike you as very naïve and mentally slow or even stupid; largely because she was so favored for her looks or depended on them while growing up that she never felt the need or bothered to expand her mental abilities or scope of learning beyond romance novels, fairy tales, movies, pictures and possibly fashion magazines but never newspapers or anything more “complicated”.

For obvious reasons, she doesn’t have many female friends and is very dependent on men because somehow men have always been there to pick up the pieces for her. Please note at this point that “men” here refers to both her relatives and friends alike.

She attracts gifts freely and usually all she has to do is mention to a guy or two whatever her heart desires and somehow, her wish becomes their command. Therefore she usually doesn’t have a back up plan for making money and if faced with the decision of starting a business, she may have to think a little too hard on what she can do before settling for setting up a supermarket, boutique, cooking, baking, fashion designing, make up artiste or anything typically female but rarely anything novel or competitive with male folk.

If faced with the option of getting a job, you will find her happily performing in routine functions such as a Personal Assistant, front desk person, Sales executive, customer service personnel, bank teller  etc nothing overly ambitious or competitive, technical and complicated like in accounting, statistics, engineering , IT and so on.  However, if for any reason she gets a complicated or technical role, it becomes clear to all slowly but surely that she’d be better off doing something far simpler.

 Nevertheless, the doll will always manage to attract the mercy of some male colleague (or boss) who  continually runs to her rescue  (because he considers her too fragile for the stress)delivering her from such “techy” assignments by taking the work load off her but still allowing her to take the credit. 

If the doll lacks a strong father figure in her life while growing up, she becomes promiscuous early in life and very generous at it too. She can even date best friends and see nothing wrong with it. She just wants to be loved and whoever shows her love should be rewarded.

When mature, you will find this lady as a girlfriend to one or more powerful or wealthy men but still very single because honestly men want more from a woman than exquisite beauty but if in a serious relationship or married, you will find that she is with a man who likes to show off his trophies/toys of which she is a singular unique piece. You will also find that this man is extremely possessive and jealous and this eventually becomes the basis of the bulk of their relationship “issues”.

However, if her father was very much in her life, she is usually a “daddy’s baby” and pampered by him so much that her daddy’s extreme protectiveness may not allow her to be approached by Mr. Right. In the event that her desire for adventure is more than her loyalty to daddy, she makes extremely poor choices and most likely ends up a single mum in her dad’s house. In extreme cases you will find this girl in a very complex situation as a single mother to the child of a married, wealthy man

About her car: we all know that a car usually gives lots of hints before it actually stops moving but the doll never notices the signs not to mention having a mechanic alerted so her car will definitely breakdown at a busy junction someday and she will alight from the car in  total clueless confusion until some beauty struck guy (or more than one) comes to her aid.

In the event that you find yourself as a friend, colleague, boss, lover or relative to the doll and you truly want to help her, all you have to do is help her engage her mind more. Train her to learn with her mind and not just with her eyes and encourage or praise her when she gets results. This will help her live and depend on more than her looks and of course stay out of trouble.

Meet the other 4 women and how best to understand and relate with them in following posts.

Video: What is wrong with these women???

Bobby Brown is getting married Again

Today I read that Bobby Brown is getting married again *sigh* ...in Hawaii ....*deeper sigh*


How many times have I heard it said that widowers move on faster than widows....but that doesn't concern Bobby because he had long divorced Whitney isn't it?


Honestly women have to do better with their choices of men. Sitting here, if I begin to type the list of women I know who have made wrong choices with men even though all the stop signs were there.....I will type and it will enter another person's blog.


Dear Ladies, Women are a bit disadvantaged in this world by default, honestly it is a man's world. You really don't need to use your hand and complicate your life again. 


Don't have premarital sex. No matter who he is....it is not worth it. There is a reason God said we shouldn't oh. He knows best.


Don't chase men let them chase you and when they do...shine your eyes....don't let your greed or desperation rule you.

If he does not have a job or business and is unwilling to find one ...RUN!!!

 If he has a job and he does not treat you well, makes you cry and feel insecure....RUN!!!!

If he is violent...VANISH!!!!

The stories are too many, the tears are too much...women are suffering and making wrong choices everyday...don't be a statistic oh...a word is enough for the wise.

Thank me later.
  
But mbok!...Wait a minute and a half.com.... this woman who wants to marry Bobby, is she from outer space or has he changed so much? 


I thought all "woman kind" would gang up and agree not to marry Bobby Brown, Ike Turner and every other wife abuser out there. 

Who am I kidding?... Women are usually the first to betray each other...Lol!

May God help Nigeria oh....Amen

My heart goes out to all the people who are affected in one way or another by these bombings that seem to have become a part of the daily lives of the Nigerian people. 

One way or another it affects everyone, whether in the long term or short term...It affects us all either emotionally, economically, socially or mentally.

 Its beyond asking southerners to relocate, its affecting northerners as well.


The trauma, the fear, the grief ......

Dear lord help Nigeria.


Of course those of us in the south cant seem to understand the full gravity. 

May God not allow it cross over. 

However we must make attempts to understand and we must never cease to pray for Nigeria.

Also  try not to waste your days...seek to add value. Make yourself useful will ya?

Genevieve gets the Beckham Range Evoque for freeee...adds Range Rover Ambassador to her caps

*Clearing my throat*

Remember I told you here that Mrs Beckham designed a Range Rover for classy females like us, read it all HERE

Voila!!! The car has reached Nigeria and Genevieve has been given one for FWEEEEEEEEEE!

OMG!!! Congrats to her. Wow is the word.

See pictures HERE

Told someone about it and she said Genny must have worked elsewhere for it. As in implying she slept with someone somewhere for it ....I refuse to believe. I think Range Rover as a strategy wanted a hot, classy young female in Nigeria to be an ambassador and the poll naturally selected Genevieve.

I don't believe everything has to be Farouk Lawaned or Otedollared

What do you guys think? It looks pretty transparent to me.

Congrats again Genny and Nigerians get your minds out of the gutter...There is still hope

Or if Mercedes gives me  the latest Z class now you pebbles will say I slept with who?

For the record before my millions and favours start coming in- the only persons I'm sleeping with are my darling husband  PDoc. and my Lord Jesus.

Chikena!!!...I will remind you people one day.

The Gospel According To ‘Saint’ Farouk

Hehehehe..Came across this very interesting passage...it is so on point.

Grab your pop corn and enjoy the verses...Lol!

1) And it came to pass after these things, on the first day of the first month of the twelfth year after the second millennium, that king Jona son of Bele announced to the people saying; there is no money left in the royal treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in great danger.

2) Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer sell for three scores of silver and seven, but shall now be seven scores of silver and one. But the people grumbled aloud, and said unto another, what shall it profit our king to gain all these oil money and lose his throne?

3) For it is appointed unto him to reign but once, and after this prison, for many are the atrocities which he has committed.

4) So they said unto the king, eat thou thy food in peace in the palace, and surround thou thyself with thine women, only touch not our oil price and do thy people no harm.

5) But the king would not listen, and said unto himself, I know my people, they shall only grumble for a while and soon they shall forget.

6) But the people would not forget, for the burden was too much for them to bear, and they said; now unto him that is able to increase the price of oil exceeding abundantly above all that his people can bear or think, according to the greed which worketh in him;

7) Unto him be curses in the streets by the masses throughout all ages, protests without end.

8) So they took to the streets and gave the land no peace, and there was no going out or coming in throughout the kingdom for two weeks, and the king feared greatly and said to himself, surely these people shall overturn me if I answer them not.

9) So he called the head of the labourers unto the palace, and gave him bags of gold, that he mayest turn off the wrath of the people against the king.

10) So the king assembled the people and said unto them; a measure of oil shall no longer be seven scores of silver and one, but shall now be four scores of silver, one dozen and five, to this your leaders have agreed. Praise me now therefore for I am a benevolent king.

11) And after all these, the Loudspeaker of the House of People said, let us inquire into the king’s claim that there be no money in the royal treasury. So they appointed Farcrook, son of Lawal.

12) And said unto him, gather ye now all the oil sellers, that we may know who stole from the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and came back with his report saying

13) Thieves abound in the land, and so have the oil sellers stole from the people, and gave them not oil, this they did with the help of Aliyaro the king’s mistress; and the amount he mentioned was unheard of in the land.

14) When the people heard this, they were dismayed, and sorrow gripped their hearts.

15) But the oil sellers went in unto the king in his chamber, and said; rememberest thou O king that the what we stole did we make available to thy campaign, and by thus did we make you king.

16) If thou deliver us unto the people that they may punish us, we will hold not our tongue to tell the people that thou art one of us.

17) And they said unto him, how else shall we destroy the message if not to destroy the messenger? Let us therefore implicate Farcrook the son of Lawal in this matter.

18) So they sent a certain rich man from the West by the name Otedollar, and he took Farcrook into his house and gave him some money, that he may alter the report which he had set before the people.

19) And it was that Otedollar went before an assembly of the people and said unto them, trust ye this man who said we stole from the treasury? Surely he is one of us, for he came unto me in the middle of the night, and he left with his pockets full of money.

20) And the people where amazed, and their hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in whom they had put their trust.

21) So Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is my briber, I did not request. He maketh me to sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me beside the chilled champagne.

22) He exploited my greed; he leadeth me in the path of marked dollars for subsidy’s sake.

23) Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of EFCC, I will fear no arrest: for bribes are with me; my loots and my kickbacks they comfort me.

24) Thou preparest the dollars before me, in the presence of the SSS: thou anointest my mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over.

25) Surely the shame and reproach shall follow me all the days of my life, but I will dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever.

26) And the people wept, but there was no one to console them.

Ogunyemi Bukola

Follow @zebbook on twitter

SMH....I hear they said the cause of the plane crash is bad aviation fuel and guess who is the sole supplier of aviation fuel....Otedollar!!!!....9ja we hail thee.